'Tis So Sweet
Every muscle in my body cried out for relief from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt. The hot pad and Aleve offered minimal relief. Rob prayed, as he always does when the pain is bigger than me, and I cried. This is not how life is supposed to be. Or, is it?
God's been speaking to me this about: idols, trust and surrender. I prefer that my current life-theme song be, "I'm Standing on the Mountain Underneath the Starry Sky, " or "If It Keeps Getting Better and Better, Oh Lord, I Don't Know What I'm Gonna Do." I prefer those songs because they speak of victory, soft breezes, sanctuary, and a safe place in the cleft of the rock.
Instead, my life-song has been, "Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus," a song that infers need and desperation, 'else why would I need to trust?
It was the only song I could think of last Fall when I made the drive from Castle Rock back home to Denver. Earlier that morning as I prepared to go to court with my son, I was certain God had spoken to my heart, "If you look for Me, I'll be there." And, I was sure that meant he would not be going to jail. But, he was arrested on the spot. Reeling with shock and keenly disappointed, I slammed my hand against the steering wheel and vented at God, "I thought You said You would be there! Where were YOU?" I cried my tears - buckets of them - but in the end the only song that brought me comfort was, "Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus."
So that's what I sang.
I sang it a few months ago when my tiny grand-daughter was oh so sick and we wanted her to be well.
I sang it when the bottom fell out of the auto market, and my husband's job of 23 years abruptly ended.
I sang it when the bank account was empty.
I sang it when the cupboards were bare.
It was my song when we prayed for healing, but instead mourned when that one I loved so fiercely was laid to rest.
I sang it when the realization came that fibromyalgia decided to be my best (worst) friend.
I rested in it one night not long ago when, in the stillness of the church sanctuary, I wept and brokenly whispered to God, "Is it okay if I just sit in Your presence because I can't think of anything to say?"
I've sang it, and sang it, and sang it again.
And in the singing, I came to embrace the truth.
I'm still learning, but I'm closer than I was. I know with certainty that I can walk hand-in-hand with brokenness because I know it gloves the hand of my Savior. And, because it does, I can trust even if I don't understand.
I said God's been teaching me three things, now I remember a fourth. God is teaching me the importance of submitting to brokenness. That IS a scary place to be even when you know the breaking is for a purpose.
Today I've thought about my family and my friends. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Many of you are being broken, too. Can I encourage you today? Instead of resisting, submit to the breaking He is allowing in your life. It isn't pleasant; it isn't fun. But I can tell you without hesitation, there is purpose or He would not allow it. You can trust the One who went to Calvary for you. You can trust Him as He works Himself into your life. Rest in what you know to be true about Him. Don't despair. You'll get through this to the other side if you trust Him. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus . . . oh for grace to trust Him more
Sunday, September 24, 2006
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
Louisa M.R. Stead 1850 -1917
Copyright © 2004rjknuth